Breast Feeding

BREAST FEEDING by Seth Bradley c2007

Let me tell you what I know about Breast Feeding. It Sucks.

There are two schools of thought on breast feeding and I have

experienced both of them. The first school of thought is that

breast feeding is good for the health of the child. Does that mean

physically or emotionally? One of my wives that breastfed thought

that it would help the child fight diseases because the child would

be getting the benefits of her immune system. She may have been right; however,

she was the wife that stayed in the doctor's office so much that

we had to buy two, four drawer filing cabinets for all of the accumulated

medical receipts. I considered her a hypochondriac because she was

always going to the doctor, but was never sick. The baby might have

gotten her good genes and immune system but he also might

have inherited her hypochondriac syndrome along with inheriting a need to hate

my mother. That is entirely a totally different subject.

The other school of thought on this breast feeding deal is the mother's

desire to bond with the child. I guess as a father I get to bond when

I buy him a car and give him money for gas. I accused my wife of bonding

way too long. At what age should a child stop breast feeding? Her answer

was that the child decides. When the child feels that he is no longer a baby

and wants to be grown up, he will know. I said yes, because his first or

second grade teacher will be calling us to tell us that our son is thirsty.

I think that when a child can walk up to his mother, unclasp her bra, get a

drink, clasp her bra back, and then go out and get on his bike, he can probably

learn to open the fridge door, pour the milk, drink it, wash the glass, and then

go out to play. I could be wrong or as my wife would say, you are just envious.

I agree with her on that 100%. I never have been able to just walk up to her

and... well you know what I am saying. Maybe I am just a tad bit jealous of this

breast feeding thing.